| In Memory.... |
[08 Dec 2005|05:15pm] |
Yesterday was Joel Soehner's funeral and memorial service. It was very sweet. It was really cool to see how many lives he touched in all sorts of different circles. From those of us at HSW, to Tom, to people he had met while in various recovery programs. It was also reassuring to hear how he had stayed the same sincere and compassionate person. And his heart was still for God. Hearing some of the passages he had kept in his journals resonated as very true, which was encouraging. Sometimes I forget that God is still God no matter what. I forget that there is no measure to His love.
It's weird how you can sum up the positive emotions and general feelings about a person in a 15 minute slide show. I suppose our memories are like snapshot photos. So a slide show is just helping us to remember and bring focus to all of those memories. But it leaves out a significant part of someone's life. I know that Joel struggled with things. I want to know what caused his struggles. I almost felt like he was cheated by taking out the dark side of his life.
It was good seeing Josh and Adam. I wasn't sure how Josh would react. But he was very kind and friendly. It made me regret a lot. He's a good man. Adam hardly recognized. Brenda and Glen definitely didn't. When I went up to give Glen a hug he said, "were a friend of Joel's?" "Umm... yeah, you used to give us a ride home from school every day." hehe.
I've decided I want good music at my funeral. I'm contemplating make a playlist for it because you never know when tragedy will strike.
Silver spike, golden god. Make the tourniquet and strike the vein
Hope this shot will dull the pain.
The children laugh with condescension to see your funny game
They know the truth—it’s not an answer but I feel with you
And know that being left and forgotten is a tapeworm cancer
Eating at your insides and killing from within, self-prescribed medication kills the din
will anyone tell your story?
Can this unintended suicide still bring you to Glory?
I know there’s blood and I know there’s forgiveness
Is God merciful to take them as witness?
You spoke a line—years ago—in a play, our high school show.
You said with conviction, “come in, come in, eternal glory you shall win.”
So enter now and enjoy. No more struggling and drowning in this life of sin.
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| Difference in the Details |
[27 Nov 2005|04:04pm] |
Life is different with no one to dream of.
Sleep is easier but waking harder and it hurts too deep
to hear you ask how i am because i know you don't care
at least not the same as before.
But blue's still blue and the TV still screams static
through the plip-plop of tears
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| Meh |
[28 Sep 2005|01:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ours - Meet Me In The Tower |
] |
I just want things to work out.
Please?
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| Winter Westerns |
[08 Sep 2005|03:54pm] |
Setting sun on a cold December day begins preparation for the worst mid winter’s night
Sitting in a drunken car and staring high, I saw your plane ascend into the sky.
Squinting I see gleaming reflections from a Wyatt Earp gun shoot rays of warmth
that are too scared to do anything but miss me
that’s a metaphor for me and you, or at least how I feel and I wonder if you’ll think of me
The car is sobering up and I’m drying my eyes. I decide it’s time to move,
Following the same road home, I’m just a creature of habit who’s too numb to feel,
too dumb to know it’s time to give up, and too scared to do anything but miss you.
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| Humour |
[30 Aug 2005|11:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
Went to YL tonite. That was good. I think I'm going to join a small group.
Made dinner for Salli, Kendra, and Amy.
Tomorrow I'm supposed to have dinenr with my father.
Here's my humour type. I would personally move myself more towards "spontaneous" but oh well, it's kinda close.
the Wit
(80% dark, 23% spontaneous, 15% vulgar) |
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK
You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.
I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.
Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.
You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais
The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -
If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test |
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My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 98% on darkness |
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You scored higher than 3% on spontaneity |
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You scored higher than 5% on vulgarity |
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| And Things Fall Apart |
[28 Aug 2005|11:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
Today has been a huge jumble and right now I'm completely devestated. It's like as soon as I start to try and get my life straightened out, a train has to come through and destroy the very little I've done leaving me further back than I was to start.
So what happened is horrible and is the second hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. What makes it worse is that I can't talk to my best friend about it because it upsets him too. What's even worse after that is that I'm trying to give up all the things I used to do to help me cope. No alcohol, no smoke, no knife. So here I am alone trying to deal with this.
All alone.
Life, could you be a little softer to me?
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| The Newest Emo Song by Me |
[11 Aug 2005|10:02am] |
I know it’s dumb, but it’s just how I feel
A fish on a hook that you cast and re-reel
Always coming or going, never quite knowing just where I stand
So forgive me this action, it’s my natural reaction to clam up
For once I’m asking the truth so I can give up and move on
Gotta lose hope, but I can’t when your daily calls keep stringing me on
“Good nite and sleep well, see you tomorrow” the constant conclusion
“I love you, come sleep with me” my grandest delusion
Now it’s dinner time and you’re eating my heart standing above where I stood
You finally see what you’ve done when you notice that charcoal and burnt rubber don’t taste too good
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| University by Me |
[29 Jul 2005|04:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
Mom and dad never taught me to love
Said it was just a gift from above
You tell me I need to learn to love and laugh
Just another 101 class to nap through
Or be distracted by the punk rock girl sitting in the back
Raven hair and ink and holes
In reverie think maybe a girl that knows the pain will know the way to ease my soul
Only to be waken from my fantasy by your blond haired teaching on how not to bleed
So thats that
Never thought it
Didnt buy it
Just left it all
Just to fake it all
Tonights the night we learn to make a difference
Difference being that its you and I
Not us not them just me and you
Your smile tells the story
No happily ever after when how I feel too much is contrasted against your indifference
Laugh again with my hand around your throat
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| Bruce Wayne Must Be Cooler than I Am |
[22 Jul 2005|10:09am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 flirty |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Misery is a Butterfly - Blonde Redhead |
] |
So my Batman&Robin pillow has been super lonely for way too long. It needs some company. And the girl whom I've been totally swooning over won't even talk to me. *tear* hehe. Oh well.......
I was supposed to go to Cali this weekend to go on Space Mountain because it just reopened but I'm not going to do that since work is so busy and I would've felt bad leaving early. So I'm here this weekend. Hopefully it won't suck as much as the past couple have.
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| Stupid Weekends |
[18 Jul 2005|08:56am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
If God was one of Us - Ja Rule |
] |
So this weekend was pretty lame. Two fun times. 1) saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with my parents. Johnny Depp cracked me up so hard. 2) Got the highest Bejewled score EVER. haha.
Other than that nothing of consequence happened. I got new sheets and stuff for my bed. And I angled it. I think it looks a little nicer now.
Work is too busy. But I got in early today so I hope I can leave by 5. That would be fun. I don't know what I'll do..... but at least it will be possible to do something. Maybe I'll see if someone got a new phone :) Golfland sounds really fun right now.
So I just bought a soda but the can is dented and it's really hard to drink out of and I almost just spilled on myself. How embarassing.
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| Blah |
[13 Jul 2005|03:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
irritated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
No Lies, Just Love - Bright Eyes |
] |
I just realised my table didn't work. I'm going to redo it tonite
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| New Rule |
[13 Jul 2005|11:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
No, Not Now - Hot Hot Heat |
] |
allmusic.com is the site du jour. hehe. Go there, look up some bands and see what sort of person you are. I did four bands that I've been listening to A LOT recently and here is what I got:
Bright EyesHowie DayJosh RouseThievery CorporationDamien RiceAmiable/Good-naturedAngst-RiddenAutumnalBitterBittersweetBittersweetBittersweetBittersweetBrittleCalm/PeacefulCatharticCatharticDetachedDistraughtDramaticDruggyEarnestEarnestEarnestEarnestEarthyEarthyElegantElegantEtherealGrittyIntenseIntimateIntimateIntimateIntimateIntimateLaid-Back/ MellowLaid-Back/MellowLiterateLiterateLushMelancholyMelancholyMelancholyMelancholyMeloncholyNocturnalPassionatePlaintivePlayfulPoignantPoignantPoignantReflectiveReflectiveReflectiveReflectiveReflectiveSadSearchingSearchingSearchingSentimentalSensualSoothingSophisticatedSophisticatedSpringlikeStylishTense/AnxiousTrippyWistfulWistfulWistfulWistful
I'm happy, I swear. hahaha.
So..... I want to meet a softball player. Or a volleyball player. Or a mini-golf player (putt-putt is such a lame term for mini-golf). Anyone have any ideas where I could find someone like that?????
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|
| whoa |
[11 Jul 2005|12:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Handsome Boy Modeling School - Breakdown |
] |
Wow, last nite was lame. hehe. I was kinda drunk so I'm sorry to whomever I talked to and was a total tool.
Anyways..... today wasn't too bad. Made some French toast. Then visited the parents. Then went with Salli to see War of the Worlds. Then we went back home and mom and dad were gone so we made ourselves dinner.
Then I met up with Dan and Jess at Jamaican Blue. Man, that place has changed for the worse! It's so crappy now. They redecorated and it's more of a bar. LAME!!!! It was all older people (in their 30s) and none of the rad kids that used to haunt it.
So we were like, THIS SUCKS! And came back home. Dan's taking Jess and Steve back to their house now. I just got done working out. Maybe one day I'll be buff and girls will like me. hahahaha.
Peace out homie Gs!
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| Trojan Man |
[09 Jul 2005|10:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
melancholy |
] |
this is the answer to every question i asked
it's the lie in all of my hypocrisy
like a used condom i'm discarded and forgotten
just a hungover horror from the night before
now i proclaim the blasphmy that i don't need you--i don't want you
but i don't even know who i'm talking to
it's the mythical girl in my head that i long for
because it's quite apparent that you can't be her
i'm so bored of being lonely and so tired of being me
i'll drink a cup of Ursula's brew if it could make me someone else
because the person I talk to every morning while looking in the mirror
has become too tedious
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| Another Lonely Day in the Same Lonely Town |
[09 Jul 2005|10:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Together We'll Ring in the New Year - Motion City Soundtrack |
] |
Somedays it hits harder than others. Some days...... like today.
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| Cohesion and Training Manuals |
[08 Jul 2005|03:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 working |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Are You True - The New Amsterdams |
] |
So here I am at work. Getting lots of stuff done. hahaha.
I'm working on the training manual right now. I have so many ideas and so little time to get them implemented!!
I'm excited for the weekend. I bought a bucket of margaritas last night and put it in the freezer so that will be yummy. I also bought a vacuum and did that last nite. How very dilligent of me.
I don't have any plans for the weekend yet. *sigh* I'm going to play board games with Donovan tonight because I have no life. Tomorrow Dan was talking about going up to Sedona so I may do that. Or I may sit out at the pool and read or something. Who knows. Maybe I'll go to the batting cages. hehe.
Well, that's that. I'm off to try and finish this dumb manual.
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lechuck421's journal
mischievous
